Sometimes I have a hard time letting go of ‘things’. I especially have a hard time letting go of my boys’ baby things. My 2nd child will be my last baby. We are all done. For sure. So with each item that gets donated to charity, I shed a tear or two. And my Mama heart feels a little bit sad.
Tomorrow, the very last baby item in our home will be picked up and taken away for charity. It is the chair that I breastfed both of my boys in every.single.day of their first year of life. It is the chair that I fell asleep in too many times to count. It is the chair that we read countless bedtime stories in and where cuddles and love and snuggles and tickles were given on a daily basis. A lot of hopes and dreams that I have for my boys were envisioned in the late night/early morning hours in that chair.
‘Silly girl’, I tell myself… ‘it’s just A CHAIR’. And yes, it is material. I have my sweet boys here and watching them grow is an incredible blessing. Of course. And yet, still Im sad. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to use that chair again. I would love another baby (or two), but the hubs says I’d never stop if we really did decide to keep going.. and he might be right. So Im not really mourning a chair, I know Im mourning a life of ‘could have’ in my mind. A dangerous thing to do, but still I do it. Probably too often.
So to make myself feel a little better, I did what I normally do… I took out my camera. I had my boys sit together in the chair that they spent so much time in, so long ago. And now I know, I’ll have these to look back on. To tell them how much it meant to me to sit there with them, no distractions, just them, in their sweet babyness. Something I’m so thankful for.
And just for fun. My boys. Both 6mo old. In this same chair. It’s the benchmark (along with that Pooh Bear) that I used to mark their growth each month. <3